1. Talk to someone whom you trust. This helps relieve your emotions. When your sorrow and indignation diminishes, your ability to "forgive" will then be accordingly enhanced.

2. Let go of your inside struggles. "To forgive" is doing yourself a favour. You have nothing to lose. Moreover, the one who hurts you may be penalized in some other ways, like shouldering legal liability, being conscience stricken and isolated.

3. Be more observant and aware of your own and others' limitations. This would help you understand more of the weaknesses of human nature. Try to understand those people and things that have hurt you from different perspectives, and perhaps you will find out that these people did not really mean to hurt you, or that they may even have once given you a hand. By then, your anger will naturally abate.

4. Try to understand the other party's state of mind. The one who hurts you in fact does not feel any better than you do, because he also has to suffer from negative feelings such as anger or anxiety.

5. Stop continuously recalling those people or things that cause you harm. This will only remind you more of their wrongdoings which will in turn make it more difficult for you to forgive.

6. Look for activities which would make your life happier. Listen to your favourite music, treat yourself to your favourite snacks, or wander around the parks, etc. Do not neglect the joy that these little things can bring.

7. Try to assess objectively whether our feelings of being hurt are results from our unreasonable requests (for example, "he should entertain me at all times" or "he should fully understand my difficulties before pointing out my faults; and "his action shows that he does not respect me at all."). If we could properly adjust our expectation of others, both ourselves and those around us would feel a bit more relaxed.

The door to the secrets of forgiveness is there. Try to open it and you will certainly discover new and different ways of enjoying life.

Stress management workshops

The PSG will organise a series of stress management workshops to be conducted in Chinese.

• Date :
  (1) July 6
  (2) September14

• Time: 8.45 am - 12.30 pm (Participants are requested to arrive 15 minutes early.)

• Venue: Police Sports and Recreation Club Sportsman Bar

• Reservation: PSG (2866-6207)

  Thirty places for each session will be allocated on a first-come, first-served basis.

Seek advice and help from the Psychological Services Group:

PHQ, Hong Kong Island and Marine: 2866-6206 (5/F, 111 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay); Kowloon and the New Territories: 2735-3739 (22/F, Ocean Building, 80 Shanghai Street, Kowloon).

PEN: psg@police.gov.hk