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EQ and Training - Part Two

Emotional self-control and delaying gratification

Capable instructors do not lose self-control easily or teach just to show off. One big mistake we can sometimes make is that we tend to talk too much during lessons, dwelling on our experience to our hearts' content, enjoying the spotlight without listening and not caring much about what the trainees need. That is not the way. When we have some trainees who are poor performers, what we have to do is simply to give them more attention. Better interacting with individual trainees, understanding their problems, and giving them our opinions rather than chiding them in their peers' presence.

When we teach, it's with professionalism making sure we say the right things, take the right stance, and behave in the right way. We teach not to satisfy ourselves but our clients, the trainees. And we do not just talk; the higher degree of self-control we display before trainees, the stronger evidence we have to convince them to do the same. When we teach, we throw all the daily pinpricks and stresses behind us and concentrate only on teaching. To this end, we must maintain emotional self-control all the time.

Recognising trainees' emotions

From time to time we may come across some trainees who are headstrong, self-protective, and reluctant to reform themselves in the learning process. Yes, we can break the ice if we do the basics; set up an optimum learning atmosphere and let the trainees know that we care. Only when trainees feel safe and warm and are receiving due respect will they be ready to open up themselves, accept new ideas and face new challenges.

To start off, we need empathy, the technique that is most recommended in staff management and communication with our family members or whatever people we need to have a relationship with. Using the empathy technique on trainees here means listening to what they say and observing carefully their non-verbal behaviour such as facial expressions, body movements and tone. With this technique, we can find out if they are being hungry for learning, receptive, attentive, resisting, impatient or absent-minded. When we get their core messages, we can start making the necessary adjustments for best training results.

Establishing good relationships

Finally comes instructors' social competence: the ability to establish good human relationships. An instructor who is socially competent is halfway to achieving good communication with the trainees, for it is only too reasonable for trainees to raise questions and talk about their problems before an instructor with an encouraging and non-judgmental face. Having established a good relationship with the trainees, the instructor can start helping them with their problems based on the feedback he receives from them. Instructors do not just teach, they can be trainees' trusted friends too. With mutual trust and care having been established between instructors and trainees, the former can exert stronger influence on the latter, thereby helping them grow along the way. In fact, instructors themselves grow too.

EQ can go higher - or lower

To achieve high EQ, we need to know the workings of our emotions. Then we must maintain a mental balance by taking part in some healthy distractions and do what we can to stay happy, positive, and open-minded all the time. In trying to establish good relationships, we have to be good listeners, to understand the feelings of others, and show respect, give help and care for others. The higher EQ we have, the more efficient we are and therefore the more benefits trainees can get from us. (Information provided by SP (FTO) TDB Kung Pak-sing)





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