Family Life Education Series
Charge Your Children with Positive Emotions

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Are people aware that there are positive and negative emotions? Most people have an awareness of their positive emotions and they feel free to show them, but with the negative ones they may tend to hide or deny them. In this article, Positive Living United Services Chairman, Professor Wong Chung-kwong, discusses the importance of charging our children with positive emotions and the best ways to do so.

Emotion decides the quality of life and is the driving force of life. Positive emotions such as love and happiness drive people to acts of love and happiness. The reverse is also true. For example, anger and jealousy often lead to acts of destruction. Emotions also affect how we see our circumstances and ourselves. Happy people are usually optimistic and hence find it easier to overcome setbacks and failures. Unhappy people, on the contrary, tend to be pessimistic and often amplify their misfortunes.

That is why 'happy childhood' is a very simple but also extremely important blessing by parents. Happy children are usually confident and energetic. They are willing and ready to face challenges. They are motivated to learn. They get on well with others. They also enjoy good health. On the contrary, unhappy children are often diffident. Many lack motivation to learn. They tend to shy away from or not get along with others. They also tend to fall sick more readily.

There are three important strategies to 'charge' children with positive emotions.

Emotions are strongly related to psychological needs just as physical health is related to good nutrition. Parents should be aware of the psychological needs of children and should also know how to satisfy those needs. Many parents will respond, 'Yes, I know what my children need. They need my love, and I give them my love!' Unfortunately, love is not enough! Love is what parents feel for their children and that does not guarantee their children necessarily feel loved. It is parents' acceptance, understanding, positive regard, encouragement and support that will ensure that children feel loved.

The second strategy is 'empathetic listening' or listen to feel and to understand. In contrast, many parents feel talking is caring. No, that is incorrect. Very often caring is listening but not talking. Children who are often heard seldom feel misunderstood. Moreover, because they can readily talk about their unhappy feelings, they seldom pent up bad feelings.

The third strategy is 'empowering'. Life is full of challenges and stress. Children are not exempt. In fact, children who are encouraged to take up challenges are filled with confidence and positive feelings for life and for themselves. In contrast, children who are over-protected tend to be non-assertive and weak. Parents must know how to encourage their children to face up to challenges including overcoming difficulties and failures. In so doing, from a young age, children are 'charged' with passion for life.

- From Welfare Services Group -