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Family Life Education Series |
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Time flies!!! This is our last article in the youth series and we would like to draw a conclusion on this subject.
Our ambition is to provide a "pleasant and happy environment" so that our teenagers and youths would grow up and make good parents themselves. How do we make that a reality?
In his previous articles, Dr Cheng Chi-ho, Assistant Professor of the Hong Kong Polytechnic University, explored the characteristics of the culture and sub-culture of teenagers and youths, school, home and media related issues of the teenage population, peer support and violence at school.
In this article, Dr Cheng declared: "We must conclude that this era is not an easy "battlefield" for our teenagers and youths due to the excess complexity and temptation that they have to face. How do we, as parents, teachers, social workers and adults, train them to be our successors?"
Of course, there is no easy answer to that question. We, as adults, tend to be critical of our teenage and youth population when we impose our values and beliefs on them. We tend to use our traditional way of thinking: when a problem arises, we want to find out the cause and then resolve it. We tend to be firm believers that if we know the cause of the problem, we may find a solution. This trend of thought has dominated our thinking for the past 50 years. Is that really true?
At present, most people think that we are looking for answers in all the wrong places. Some would even argue that it was our system, which produces or precipitates teenage and youth problem in our society. Their reasoning behind this is:
1) Each teenager/youth person is an individual with his/her own developmental traits and history, and should not be treated collectively as a group;
2) Teenage and youth problem is created by breaking down of our educational system and a quickly dissolving nuclear family system with large proportion of single parenting and grand-parenting families, and
3) Societal atmosphere is predominated by a lack of patience and the searching for instant results with too much emphasis on test-scores and money-chases.
Would it make any difference if they (teenagers and youth population) were growing up happy? Should we ask ourselves, the adults who raise them? Are we such bad role models or have we misled them somehow? Who is responsible? A book by Cieslik & Polloch (2002), "Young People in Risky Society: the Re-structuring of Youth Idealities and Transitions in Late Modernity" explores this subject matter further and I strongly recommend that to you. In order to raise a healthy and happy teenager/youth, adults should follow the following guidelines:
a) Put ourselves in their shoes;
b) Take away the criticism;
c) Add clarity to the problem;
d) Add trust and respect to promotion of communication, and
e) Setting reasonable rules and positive role modelling.
Last but not least, I would like to use Janusz Korczak (1879-1942)'s saying to conclude this article:
"A child knows his environment; its moods, habits and failings.
He knows it and, one should add, he exploits it skilfully.
He can intuit kindness, detect deceit and has a sense of the ridiculous.
He is able to read a face, in the same way a farmer reads the sky to forecast the weather.
This is because he too has been observing and investigating us for many years."
(End of article provided by Dr Cheng)
Child-rearing advice
Any officers facing child-rearing problems may refer to their respective Regional Welfare Offices for advice. Confidentiality will be strictly observed.
HQ&HKI : 2860-2406
NTN : 3183-9090
KE : 2304-1400
NTS&MAR : 2418-0050
KW : 2150-7988
PS & RS Branch Welfare Services Group
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