Family Life Education Series
Mutual Support (Part II)

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I once read an article written by a Chinese artist with a doctorate degree in the US, Ms Wong Mei-lin, who was born with brain defects. She could not walk or talk, and was wheel-chair bound all her life. When she was once delivering a speech in a packed room, someone asked her: "What do you think about yourself?" She turned around and wrote on the board, "I think I am lovely, I have beautiful legs, my parents love me, God loves me, I can draw, I can write, I have a lovely cat and...."

Everyone was quiet and she turned around again and wrote on the board again, "Pay attention to what you have, not what you don't". People were stunned, then they applauded and some of them were in tears. Complex feelings arose when life could be examined from various angles and points of view. Most things exist in a relative sense, such as rich versus poor, and happiness versus sadness. What is happiness after all? Is it wealth, intelligence, health or a combination of them all? Whose points of view are we looking at?

I like this article because I think most of us tend to look at what we do not have and fail to be grateful for what we've obtained. We see too many people who are successful, rich, or famous committing suicide or inflicting self-harm when they fail to sustain pain and sadness in life. This proves that psychological pain is worse than physical pain. It appears these people need certain healing from the inside.

To tell you the truth, as a parent, I have unhappy moments too when I look at my daughter, when I think about her future, and so on. I try to keep my head up as much as I can, so to speak. When I joined the support group in 2001, the group helped me reveal and explore my inner feelings for the subject matter. The reflection and experience- sharing at the group meetings definitely helped me put things in perspective. The healing effect in this group assisted me in looking at things from different angles and now I am more sensitive to others' feelings.

Now, being a core member of the "Self-help Group of Parents with Special Needs Children" keeps me useful to others. It is a great feeling when you know you are not alone. If you have not joined us, call Ms Fung of HQ & HKI Regional Welfare Office 2860-2408 or Ms Lam of NTN Regional Welfare Office on 3183-9092 during office hours.

This article was written by a member of the self-help group on up-bringing of his daughter, who was born with a rare genetic illness, "William's Syndrome". Her mental function is classified as moderate retardation, and she has been receiving special education since primary school age.

PS & SR Branch Welfare Services Group