Family Life Education Series
Quality time brings happy life

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In the previous article we mentioned about how to say "No" to avoid stress. One should note that by reducing the number of stressors one might enjoy more peaceful and happy time.

For the second article of the series, we're going to talk about time management. "Quality time" induces a higher achievement and meaningful life. This is especially important for police officers who have to work shifts and irregular hours. This will, in a way, affect physical health and the time spent with family and friends. Quality time management is thus an important topic for us in pursuing a meaningful and happy life.

Mr Wong Chung-kwong, Chairman of Board of Advisers, Whole Person Development Institute, has contributed the following article to discuss how to attain success and enjoy life by arranging "Quality Time" :

Human beings differ in many different ways. Many people feel equality is something beyond the horizon. However, there is one indisputable equality for all, and that is, no matter we're rich or poor, young or old, educated or otherwise, we all have 24 hours per day, no more and no less.

People who live well, achieve a great deal, and enjoy life, share one thing in common - managing time very well so that time to them is quality time.

The most important strategy of time management is "Stay focused!" Over the last 22 years I have taught thousands of medical students. Upon graduation they work and train as interns. The internship year is a very tough one, stretching their physical and mental limits. Quite a few of them have sought help from me, often in the middle of night, and in a state of severe distress. They said, "I'm on duty. Five wards call me at the same time. How can I cope?" Some even felt so distressed that they wanted to quit! Their common problem is that they want to be in five different wards at the same time! My advice for them is simple, "Stay focused". Record all incoming requests in a chronological order. Unless there is an emergency, attend to the wards and the patients one at a time. Stay focused on the patient you're attending to.

What about rest? Amazingly, the same principle applies, "Stay focused". In the course of psychotherapy, I have attended to many "burnt out" professionals and executives. Their psychopathology differs widely but they share one common problem. They do not know how to spend their rest time. This is their typical account in response to my question of "How do you spend your rest time?" They say, "I stay at home. I turn on my TV but I do not really watch it although I sit in my sofa right before it. I'm preoccupied with all the problems I have come across in my office as if these problems were playing back in my head. I'm also preoccupied with all the problems I will be facing tomorrow as if I were already working!" They want to rest, but they in fact torture themselves by living simultaneously in the past and in the future! Their concept of rest is to try to let their brains "do nothing!" This is an utterly wrong concept. There is only one reason why a person's brain "does nothing" and that is because the person is dead. By trying to do nothing, paradoxically our brains remain preoccupied with problems, and that is worse than work. Work can achieve results whereas preoccupation can only torture! What they need to do is to "switch off" from work and stay focused on their family or friends, or on music, sports or TV.

Some may argue, "How can I stay focused on my family or friends or sports when I have so many unfinished problems?" The answer is simple: mental discipline, i.e. when one works one works, when one plays one plays. Don't play when one is working, just as don't work when one is playing!

PS&SR Branch Welfare Services Group