During a family life education seminar held recently by the Hong Kong Island and Marine Welfare Office in conjunction with the Hong Kong Island Region, Ms Lee Shuk-fai, a registered social worker of the Hong Kong Children and Youth Services, talked about helping children overcome seductions during their growth. The summary of the talk is as follows:

Children face many challenges during their growth. Besides their studies and career development, there are various irresistible seductions during their growth - exciting electronic games, never-ending spending, impact of "information explosion", having fun with friends and temptation of heterosexual intimacy, all of which parents are concerned about. Instead of isolating their children from such seductions with serious reprimands, it is preferable for parents to help their children resist such temptations with the following means:

Healthy personal image

For many people, "slim is beauty", "spending is a status symbol" and "new model mobile phones mean stylish and trendy". These notions easily affect weak-minded children. To help their children develop self-confidence, parents should have been giving them positive assessments and recognition since their childhood, so that they will not underestimate their own ability and values. Children should be given opportunities to broaden their horizons and to cherish and be thankful for what they have. It should be impressed upon them that they would only be paid for the amount of effort they have made, and that personal values are not merely built on superficial and temporary material comfort.

Proactive and optimistic attitude

Will children blame everything and give up easily when experiencing difficulties? The activities of surfing the Internet, playing electronic games, smoking, drinking, going to karaoke and having fun with friends overnight have something in common, i.e., in addition to maintaining friendship through these activities, children also try to escape from reality. If parents have been able to assist their children in handling failures positively since their childhood, and encourage them to confide their unhappiness to others, then they can learn how to face and handle difficulties, and gradually build up a positive attitude towards difficulties.

Self-reflection and critical judgment

The Bible says, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient". Will children accept everything without any thought when facing seductions? In daily life, parents can train the critical ability of their children by quoting examples around them. An unimportant news clip or a small dispute in the school can provide a chance for children to analyse reasons and consequences, effectiveness, advantages and disadvantages from various perspectives before drawing a conclusion.

Self-restraint and self-discipline

When their friends dare them to smoke, shoplift, join a gang fight, play electronic games and go to Internet bars, can children exercise self-restraint by saying "no"? If parents give too much shelter for their children or satisfy their needs easily just because of their bad temper during their growth, the children will not learn how to restrain themselves and will only do whatever they want. It is understandable that parents provide shelter for their children out of love. However, it is a pity if children lose the chances to learn self-discipline and self-restraint due to excessive love.

Resilience

Excessive love will only weaken children's resilience. Parents need to shelter their children from all difficulties. Most importantly, when children face adversities, parents can take care of their emotional needs and let them "grow from failures" and learn how to deal with failures positively instead of allowing them to evade problems and deceive themselves by playing electronic games and surfing the Internet, etc.

Conclusion

Rather than letting children place themselves in a dilemma before seductions, it is better to assist them in riding out such a situation. The Bible says, "Flee also youthful lust". Why don't we assist children in cultivating healthy interests to enrich their lives instead of letting them indulging in television programmes, electronic games and the Internet?

In addition, children's support networks should be strengthened so that they can seek appropriate and prompt support whenever they have trouble handling difficulties. Maintaining a harmonious relationship and communication with children, as well as adopting a parenting approach commensurate with their characters and needs, can be an important foundation for guiding children.

PS & SR Branch Welfare Services Group