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The following article written by Ms Doris Lau of the Hong Kong Catholic Marriage Advisory Council, introduces the parenting philosophy of religions. After reading the passage, most people will say: "I will do the same".
As a mother of two children, I always ask myself: "What can I bring them?" "What do they need most?" "What is the most valuable to them?" "Is it life, a meaningful name, a sweet home, a great birthday party, a colourful games room, a Canadian passport, or studying in a school providing a carefree environment and nurturing creative thinking?" I think all these are important to them.
Just like many parents, before our children were born, my husband and I endeavoured to prepare and plan everything good for our children, hoping they can lead a happy and healthy life. We both considered that helping our children to have a caring and loving heart is the most important thing. Coincidentally, this thought is similar to the philosophy of life education prevailing today. We believe a caring and loving heart can help a child cherish and maintain harmonious relationships with others, rather than focus mainly on superficial and materialistic things. If we can help our children foster such a loving heart, it will become a rainbow in their lives. "Love" is like the colours of a rainbow, bringing happiness and joy to people, while "care" is like the lights of a rainbow, giving warmth to others. A rainbow is composed of seven colours. Likewise, this rainbow of life is also formed of seven elements.
Element 1: Teach your children to cherish their lives
Life is a blessed gift. Therefore, children should learn to cherish their lives, including their bodies, minds and souls. From time to time, ask your child some interesting questions, such as "How do you take good care of your eyes and teeth today?" "How do you relax when getting nervous?" "Have you heard any stories today about good people or behaviours?" A child who cherishes his life is one who is confident and passionate about life. Only children with self-confidence and strength are willing to give and help others generously.
Element 2: Maintain a pure heart
Children are pure and affectionate. When my daughter Connie was small, she would feed ants with crackers as she believed the ants would go home when they were no longer hungry. Children have a natural instinct of being affectionate to everything. This can be seen from their unwillingness to throw away their little handkerchief and old toys. You should help your children maintain this positive instinct as it is an expression of love.
Element 3: Teach your children to forgive
It is common to see my children quarrelling at home but difficult for me to make a fair conclusion of who is right or wrong as there is hardly any supporting evidence. My way of dealing with the quarrel is to ask them both to sit down. I will hold the hands of my inarticulate and weeping son, and encourage him to try to express himself. Facing my angry and eloquent daughter, I will listen carefully to her complaints. Finally, I will ask them to forgive each other, admit the faults on their parts and apologise to each other. Everybody has the ability to forgive. Forgiving can relieve our minds and set us free from anger and hatred.
Element 4: Help your children foster a sympathetic mind
The major characteristics of my family members, including my domestic helper, are being sentimental and tearful. When one cries, other family members will express their concern by giving him or her a tissue paper. Influenced by what they have done and heard at home, to my surprise, my children have also done the same at school. From a picture taken by his teacher, I was pleased to see my son comforting and wiping tears for a classmate who had fallen down on the floor. I was so touched by the sympathy he had towards his classmate, as I saw a big kind and loving heart in his tiny little body. My husband and I always remind ourselves to set good examples for our children by helping our family members and friends who are in need.
Element 5: Cultivate your children to be a contented and thankful person
Thanksgiving Day, Teachers' Day, Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day and Graduation Ceremony are good opportunities to teach children to give thanks and reciprocal love. My son will soon be promoted to primary one. As he still has another month to study in the kindergarten, I encourage him to express gratitude to the teachers, classmates, helpers and drivers for spending three joyful years with him. Children with a contented heart will give thanks since they can feel the love and blessings in their lives.
Element 6: Teach your children to give
There is a set of biographies of famous people in my bookcase. The stories of Schweitzer, Nightingale, Sakyamuni, Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Newton are good materials giving children a better understanding of what is giving, serving others and going through difficulties with others. My husband and I love inviting friends, especially those who stay alone or away from home, to our home for dinner so that they may feel the warmth of life. I believe children will remember the acts of their parents.
Element 7: Tell your children about the Creator
This is the most important element as well as the foundation for fostering a caring and loving heart. Religion can help children understand that all things in the universe are rooted in the great love of the Creator. From the blessings of this love, we are nourished and strengthened spiritually. My husband and I are always thankful for our mothers for guiding us to establish a relationship with the Creator since we were young, enabling us to continue the blessings to our next generation so that they can feel the support and blessings from the Creator.
A child with a beautiful heart is surely one who is brave and passionate about life, one who respects the values of other people's lives. I sincerely invite you to help your children develop a fruitful life as colourful as the rainbow by applying the above seven elements.
PS & SR Branch Welfare Service Group
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