Human is born a social animal.  In fact, some anthropologists believe that people who survived the last ice age were those who stayed together. Unlike some other species in the world, our ability to build a community to support each other really protected mankind from extinction in the process of evolution.  That brought us to the fourth stop of our journey to psychological wellness, the "L" in A.P.P.L.E. - "Love and Care", i.e. to foster a positive relationship, and show care, understanding and support to others.

 

 

Having someone in our lives whom we care about and who care about us is important. They are the people who will support you when you are in pain and share your joy during happy moments.  However, these friendships do not come without cost.  It requires spending a lot of time together, genuine sharing of their minds, and plenty of patience.  According to the research by Dr Martin Seligman, a renowned Positive Psychologist, "rich and satisfying social relationships" are the only external factor that distinguishes "very happy people" from "not-so-happy people".  In other words, cultivating positive relationships, spending quality time with friends, family and romantic partners are essential to happiness.

 

 

We typically spend eight to nine hours a day at workplace.  Some even joked that they saw their colleagues more often than their families.  Hence, creating a cohesive and positive relationship with your team not only increases productivity but also improves your psychological well-being.  Sometimes, all it takes is just showing some extra effort in knowing your team and supporting each other in adversity.  Building a wide network of social support could be one of the best ways to deal with the challenges of life.

 

 

Psychologist Alan Carr mentioned several important factors for increasing marriage satisfaction.

 

(1) The 5:1 golden rule: As Psychologist Professor John Gottman has pointed out, the optimal ratio of positive and negative exchange in happy couples is found to be 5:1.  So even though happy couples have disagreements, they balance it with five times as many positive interactions.

 

(2) Rapidly repair relationship ruptures: While happy couples also have conflicts, they tend to rapidly repair the ruptures in their relationships.  They do not allow long period of non-communication, sulking and stone-walling.

 

Having satisfying relationships is essential to happiness in life. Let's not take our relationships for granted and act now to cultivate positive relationships with love and care.