Caring culture abounds in the Force
woes overcome, family rebuilt
Wai-ming
(left) and his family were elated by the arrival of his son
Wai-ming was a helpful and honest man, dedicated to his family and job. Unfortunately, he suffered from brain cancer and refused hospital treatment. With the encouragement of his senior officers and colleagues, Wai-ming eventually agreed to be hospitalised. However, he lost his battle and passed away in August 2009 at the age of 40.
Towards the end of his life, Wai-ming had to deal with the anticipated loss of his family and the fear of death. His colleagues from Traffic Kowloon East and Kowloon Welfare Office constantly made home visits to comfort him. Finally, Wai-ming died in peace.
Grief triggers depression
The passing of Wai-ming brought great pains to his parents, wife Michelle and son Benny. Bereavement triggered depression on Michelle, while the aged parents were so heartbreaking that they suffered from heart disease and hypertension. Michelle was sometimes manic and sometimes depressed. She treated her parents-in-law as enemies. Michelle recalled: "Having lost my husband, I had nobody to lean on all of a sudden. I had nervous breakdown and could not control myself. I kept my son at home, fearing something would harm us. I was very confused then."
Benny, the nine-year-old son, missed school for two weeks. The Force Welfare Officer (FWO) immediately paid a home visit but was refused entry.
Heartbreaking when son trapped at home
Suffering from paranoia, Michelle could hardly trust or communicate with other people. Benny was always left at home. He did not go to school and sometimes went hungry. The FWO then asked Woman Police Constable (WPC) Wendy, Michelle's neighbour, to keep an eye on them, and render assistance whenever necessary.
WPC Wendy, with spirit of mutual help and neighbourhood, offered a helping hand to the bereaved family. Benny recalled afterwards: "Father loved me. I was very sad with his death. Mother said someone wanted to harm us and told me not to open the door to anyone." It was heartbreaking to see Benny at the age of nine had to face such predicament.
Mobilising support and resources
Things got very bad for Wai-ming's family. The FWO kept in touch with his parents and WPC Wendy almost every day, and gave regular updates to a Station Sergeant at Ngau Tau Kok Police Station. The FWO also kept close contact with the Social Welfare Department, the school principal as well as the school social worker of Benny's school so that they would help the family together. One day, Michelle's emotion was so unstable that she created chaos in a shopping mall. Upon the persuasion by welfare staff and police, Michelle agreed to be admitted to Kowloon Hospital for psychiatric treatment.
While on medication, Michelle became more stable emotionally. With counselling by the FWO and a Police Clinical Psychologist, she regained confidence in life and was ready to accept her parents-in-law. As medication was essential for Michelle's recovery, the FWO liaised with a psychiatrist to arrange home visits by a psychiatric nurse to ensure Michelle took medicine regularly.
Rebuilding family
As Michelle and Benny had to be taken care of by the parents-in-law, the FWO helped them move to a public housing flat near them, and applied successfully for a larger flat on compassionate grounds. Michelle and Benny managed to settle down and rebuilt a warm family.
It is pleased to see a fragile and homebound Benny now being well looked after by his grannies had improved his academic performance while Michelle has become mentally sound. With the counselling and support by the Psychological Services Group and the Welfare Services Group, Michelle and Benny accepted the passing of Wai-ming.
Force caring culture helps surmount woes
Michelle said: "We owe so much to the Force Welfare Office, the Psychological Services Group as well as Wai-ming's senior officers and colleagues for their big help at our hardest moments, and we can find happiness again. Thank you again for walking with us through all difficulties. We are most willing to share our story to help those police families in need so that they can come out stronger, seek help early and rebuild a happy family."
Wai-ming's mother, Madam Tang, said: "The death of Wai-ming was heartbreaking for us. I had never been so depressed. I am still feeling sad with the passing of my son. I am grateful for the assistance by the seniors and the colleagues of the Force when we were in difficult time."
AFWO's comment
AFWO Fion Cheng said: "The death of Wai-ming showed me the miseries and bitterness of life. I have great empathy for the family. I believe that apart from providing welfare benefits, it is most important to uphold the Force's caring culture and mobilise resources both from the Force and the community so as to help Michelle rebuild a loving and stable family and rekindle the family's hope. Now that I see smiles back on their faces and their newly found hope and confidence, my happiness is beyond description and I appreciate how meaningful our job can be."
AFWO
Fion
Cheng (left) is pleased to see smiles back on all faces